Live for yourself, you're all you have!

I believe it was Eleanor Roosevelt who once said, "You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realised how seldom they do", and when I think about this and look back on my life, especially in high school, I get the feeling that if I hadn't spent so much time wondering about the opinions of others then I would not have missed out on the best things in my life at that time.

I think we were all insecure in our teenage years - and if you are a teenager and reading this blog, HELLO! WELCOME! It gets better, I promise - but at most times it was that kind of insecure where if someone told you that they didn't like your jacket, you would not wear that jacket again because of fear that you would not fit in. You see I was just like this, to some extent, and was constantly changing myself and everything that I was at that time to fit the crowds that I was in and I always wanted people to like me because I thought that being liked was the only way to survive. I changed so much of myself and even, at one point, became someone who I wasn't, all to satisfy the standards of someone else.

Standards, that's a funny thing, isn't it? We have those for ourselves based on the knowledge of one's self and capabilities and they seem to be quite attainable, yet we still constantly ignore those and try to live to the standards of everyone around us because it will "make them happy". At some point we ignore our happiness and peace, even when it works for us, to fit the standards of others because we are afraid of what they may think. We become afraid that they might treat us differently because we behave a certain way or have certain likes and dislikes that they don't agree with. I have been there like I said before and it is not the best place to be, because eventually, you lose focus of who you are.

It took me a long time to realise that people don't think anything about me and that I could have been living for myself all that while. I WAS 19 WHEN I FIGURED IT OUT, and so much had happened until then that I could have enjoyed but didn't because I thought people would think differently of me. It was a true learning curb and it showed me, so much, about how important living for ourselves is because sometimes all we really have are ourselves.

Living for ourselves means that we can do whatever we need to do to make us feel happiness and peace and WE SHOULD NOT BE ASHAMED OF IT. Many times when we get an interest or hobby that may not be common or "standardised", we often wonder "what will they think", and this is when our joy goes right out the door. However, it is important for us to now understand that we do it BECAUSE it brings us joy and peace, we do not worry about others because we will miss out on so much.

Unfortunately, I learned this very late in life, but since then, I'm only living for myself because now I understand that they seldom give us thought and for the ones who do, I will not stop to fit their standards because I am living to fit my own. You see, we spend so much time fitting the standards of others that we forget to fit our own and when we eventually do try, we are not the same person - not because of voluntary change, but because we can't recognise who we became to fit in. I understand now that fitting to our standards falls in with peace and happiness because we are not changing anything of ourselves, therefore remaining genuine as we are, and this allows us to have more value in our lives and allows people to value us.

Just remember one thing; it is much easier to live for yourself than someone else because you will not disappoint or be disappointed. Look after yourself first, understand and know who you are, by living to the standards that you set for yourself - Peace and happiness await there!